Yet another set back...

After posting yesterday's blog I was determined to get in a positive mindset about this entire experience and push forward. This morning everything changed.. again... I received a call from another agency telling us yet again that they could not help us. They did say if we changed our minds they could look at our paperwork, but that it could take YEARS to get a child (and yes they told me YEARS). I will not lie.. I had a complete meltdown in my bosses office, thank goodness that she was there to hug me in that moment because I was just devastated again (Thanks Suezan)... yes again for the second time in a two week period. What is God trying to tell us, show us? Again, where do we go from here? Then I realized after seeing my husband and talking about this whole thing- he reminded me that we have God and each other (and our sweet pups) and that is GREAT! We have been so very blessed over the past six years, and despite the pain we are feeling at this point, at least we have our faith to help us get through this.God has blessed us in so many beautiful ways and we are giving this to HIM to show us what is next. I know that people will want to offer suggestions for what they think we should do next, but that is up to us to decide and we are prayerful that God will help us make the next move. I hope to personally be able to move forward, but I feel like my feet are cemented in this same spot, and I am trying desperately to run forward but CAN'T( This is so frustrating!!!). I was also reminded today by my sweet friend Stacey, that when a door closes, maybe we should find a window to open and crawl through... so we will wait for "the window" that only God himself can open for us, and then with complete FAITH we will crawl through it. Psalm 100:5 "For GOD is sheer beauty, all-generous in love, loyal always and ever. (The Message)" This is a favorite verse and has helped me remember that God is loyal to us and HE will be there each and every step of the way to help us through this difficult time.

***A special thanks to my friend Kara who convinced me to post this blog today, she reminded me the importance of staying true to my commitment of sharing EVERY step-regardless of how good or bad it is. Thanks girl!

A Turning Point...

When I started this blog, I promised myself that I would try to be as transparent as possible when documenting this journey we are on with adoption, so our child could know how their own personal journey begins. This past week was a VERY difficult blow for us. We received news that the agency we were working with could not help us. After almost four months, we are in search of a new agency and a new plan. This has been so hard that even typing this is painfully difficult. We have tried to have a child for so long, and the first door we walk into has closed in our faces. For me personally, this has shaken me to the point where I do not know where to go from here. I know some of you may be thinking, well you just started you have to expect to have some let downs right? But, getting to this point of finding an agency, filling out a mountain of paperwork, and getting excited (even though I told myself I won't) has shaken us. This is a very difficult time, but we have already begun seeking other options. We know that this is in God's in control and feel like HE WILL ABSOLUTELY PROVIDE!!! This time is somewhat of a turning point personally as well,because it is very difficult to find people who can relate and some days it is all I can do but smile and try not to think about it... but it is devastating. Thanks to all of you (you know who you are) who have listened and encouraged us this week- you guys have been great.We know that God will help us through this time and HE will show us what is next. We ask for your prayers as we try to move forward.