Today I wanted to wish my sweet husband a very belated Happy Father's day!( My intention was to post this on Father's Day) After all, he is a proud "daddy" to our two sweet pups Baby and Emma. Jason, you are the most Godly, loving, and supportive husband and we could not get through anything without you!! We love you and appreciate all the very special ways you love us and take care of our entire family! I know that you will be the most fantastic dad one day soon and look forward to it one day. For all the dads out there, or soon to be dads we hope you enjoyed this special day and that you deserve to be honored everyday. Jason and I are very blessed to have Dads that love and support us. Our dads are a beautiful example of what a man should aspire to be one day and they serve as role models to us both, we love you both and hope you enjoyed your special day of relaxation and appreciation. Really there are no words that can describe how much we love you both!!
UPDATE: First of all, I changed the background to the airplane flying in the sky because we are on a journey with adoption, and just got back from a wonderful vacation in D.C. Jason and I had time to get away and spend some much needed quality time together. This time brought us to an understanding that God has the absolute perfect plan for us and our child ,and that our timing for a child doesn't seem to be now. I realize many people will say," why don't you do this, or try this, why are you giving up so soon, or call someone about this option?" but the past few months have been emotionally taxing and a break is what we need. We both love our life and the busy pace at which we live it and know that God will show us his way when its HIS time not ours. The past few months have been extremely difficult and filled with much disappointment. For me personally,(no sugar coating- I promised transparency) it has shown me that others will let me down and have let me down but three things remain unchanged and that is that God, my husband, and our families will always be there . It has also shown me how much I need to rely on God to get through something so painful. Many days its very lonely and makes me feel helpless and alone because I do not have anyone to say to me, " I understand, I have been there!" I look around at people with there children and think, I hope they know how BLESSED they are to have children and how much joy they bring to their family- I wish I had that!! and then God quietly whispers to me,
"Christina, your time is coming... Be patient and wait with GREAT expectation, I am preparing you (And Jason) but you have to wait!" and then I of course argue with God and tell him I know better and that I am ready now- the great thing about God is that HE knows me better than I know myself. Our faith has been tested over the years we have been going through this and we have come out on top and stronger than ever as a couple. Jason has been the strongest rock I could lean on and has been there reassuring me that God is in control every step of the way (when my own faith wavered)!
It is hard to not look at others and see where they are and compare yourself to where you think you should be based on what everyone else is doing- but we are human and we ALL do it at one point or another !(If you are reading this go ahead and admit it to yourself-denial gets us no where LOL) I feel at times so far behind everyone when it comes to having children, but it's not a race and when God tells us its OUR time ..... It will be OUR time and we will be excited, ecstatic, anxious, prepared, and so joyous throughout the journey. This journey is far from over and I hope people will be encouraged to keep reading this blog and share their experiences or this blog with anyone else on this journey.
