The TEST...

Since being on this journey we have decided to do some testing to see if there is anything else we can do to help conceive on our own. Last month I scheduled a Hystosalpingogram to see if the single Fallopian tube I have was blocked but in the world of doctor's scheduling, and having to have at scheduled at the end of my monthly cycle, I had it done yesterday. The experience started off with a trip to the OB/GYN to take a pregnancy test that I knew would be negative for two reasons..1. We have tried to have a child for 5 years, and 2. I just had my cycle. But I did what we needed to do and trying to do it without others knowing was impossible because as we entered the doctor's office, at the front desk sat a church member who worked at the office- so much for anonymity. You may ask why not let others know about this test until now??? Because of the constant flooding of questions of course. We have worked very hard on this journey to do things how WE WANT to do them NOT how OTHERS THINK we should do them. With that being said, the test was negative. Moving on I left the room still feeling defeated and hopeless, because each time I take a pregnancy test I still hope to pass it will a positive like a final exam you study for weeks to prepare for. Anyway, I went to billing to get my slip to have the HSG completed- this slip had my basic info on it- then under reason for test: INFERTILITY. This hit me like a ton of bricks, I always knew we had infertility issues but to see it in writing just twisted my stomach into knots. I went out to the waiting room on the verge of tears to a loving and supportive husband who just LOVED on me like it was not a big deal and that WE were going to get through this together but for some reason seeing it in writing and on paper DESTROYED me. Next it was off to another doctor's office for the HSG, we accidentally went to the wrong floor where a not so nice lady told us we were in the wrong place- I wonder if the mean people at doctor's offices ever take two seconds to think about what the patients that are coming to them are going through? We finally made it to the right place, did the paperwork, and then the woman at the counter proceeded to tell me Jason could NOT come with me.... WATER WORKS WATER WORKS!!!!! I DID NOT want to have to do this on my own, because I wanted him there to hold my hand. We waited for a while, then they called my name.. Christina Pamblanco, I whisked off to a room where they told me to take off all my clothes except leave on my shoes and panties and then put my clothes in a locker and take the key like I was at a gym or something. So I proceeded to wait in this small room with other ladies on in their green gown, panties and shoes-AWKWARD!!! Finally my name was called yet again and I entered a giant white room with all the instruments set out for this 15 minute test. I have decided not to go into the details here, but if you want a full report feel free to ask me... but I will say it is a pain I have never felt before in my life. I was absolutely a baby... I cried, screamed, and had to breathe the pain away. After it was over I was shocked to find out that the tube is in fact OPEN not closed like I had thought- Lesson from God here... I need to have MORE FAITH!!! Now my mind is in full motion thinking.... what now? We will have an appointment with my doctor in a week or two to follow up but the next steps are up to what WE feel is best. God showed his mercy and faithfulness yet again. I was SO scared, nervous, apprehensive, and God managed to give me the sweetest doctor and nurse when it came time to actually have the test completed. God also has blessed me with the MOST INCREDIBLE and supportive husband in the world who reminds me that WE WILL get through this TOGETHER and that this is our testimony of God's love for us and our family. I LOVE YOU JASON LOUIS!!!!!